Lots of good info above. Joewoodworker is definetely a great tutorial and reference for veneering. The first veneer softener I used was distilled water with 10% glycerin from the drugstore, and it worked fine. Dave made a good point that it needs to be distilled water. (I forgot this on one project and ended up with black spots from the minerals in the tap water). I have used the flattening and craft paper method that Larry talked about, and with some patience it works also. The last few times I have used commercial softener and a clothes iron, and it worked too, and was also a lot faster, very little waiting around. Every species of veneer has its own quirks. I've found birdseye/figured maple to be difficult, especially on larger sheets.
Another important thing is the glue. Joe Woodowrker poo-poo's using anything but water base glue, I think mostly because of the extra cost, and I'm sure he knows a lot more about it than I do. But I've had problems with these large panels I'm gluing up and I'm trying to up my odds of success. It's at least something to think about, to spend time spraying, flattening, and drying the veneer only to re-introduce more water based material back onto the veneer that can cause more reaction (i.e. wrinkling, buckling, swelling)?? Seems kinda contrary? I received some Unibond 800 from the brown truck today and going to give it a try. It's a non-water based resin glue, so it will not introduce water to the veneer.