Yes, I have experienced somewhat the same thing. I have never had the privilege of working with cherry (yet). I have worked with oak (both white and red, and there is a difference), walnut, and pine and other "softer" woods of unknown origin. My personal opinion is that the softer woods are harder to dovetail than the oak, for the reasons you mentioned. I can be much more aggressive with oak than with the softer woods.
The rule of thumb I use is that the softer the wood the sharper the chisel and the lighter the cut. Also, back-bevels will compound the problem on soft wood. Kinda works like a screwdriver tip.
I usually make one fairly light (depending on the wood) strike on the bottom scribe line, flat face away from the waste side, to break the surface fibers. The then move in a bit to chop out the majority of the waste. I then go back a pare down to the line by hand (no mallet) using a cross cut shearing motion. With oak, the "move in a bit" is like 1/32". With pine, it is a good 1/16". This is difficult as you get to the center of the thickness, but that area is more hidden. I work from both sides to the middle, so any crushed voids are in the center. A chisel with a skewed edge (takes 2, one left and one right) makes this easier in thicker material, but some crushing on straight cuts will be hidden in the center. I have two Crown chisels that are beveled to about 25 degrees. They will not take a mallet blow at that bevel without chipping out, but work fine for hand paring.
I guess the summary of what I do is that I get to the final finished edge by hand, no mallet, except in harder woods like oak. If it won't cut, I hone the chisel.
I am by far no expert, but this is what works for me. (Of course, I probably take twice as long to do the same task, but why rush a good thing!:wsmile
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