Zen and the Art of Sanding

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Bas

Recovering tool addict
Bas
Corporate Member
A short treatise on why the Festool Domino is the most useless tool ever invented
and
Why Roy Underhill is the smartest woodworker in the world
and
How man relentlessly pushes himself forward, not because of some noble motivation but because he grossly underestimated the effort




Like any respectable woodworker, I have a lot of scrap. Pieces too small to be really useful, but with too large a perceived value to throw away. In my case, this problem is compounded my by Dutch heritage. My [STRIKE]cheapness[/STRIKE] frugality is matched only by my delusion about actually using all this scrap within my lifetime.
01_scrap.jpg

(walnut, Brazilian cherry, purpleheart, and maple)​

In September I started thinking about making some Christmas gifts. Why clutter up the houses of your friends and family with cheap, useless store-bought junk when you can clutter it up with cheap, useless home-made junk? Given my shocking lack of talent and busy travel schedule, I decided to keep the project simple. I don't recall the exact inspiration, but I remember seeing it at a store somewhere: A set of wooden party trays that can hold a wine glass. Because life is difficult enough without having to set your glass down somewhere before you can munch on a cube of cheese. Fancy descriptions aside, these "party trays" are essentially small cutting boards with a hole in them. No fancy joinery, no end grain to sand, no juice grooves or handles. A plank with a hole.


So the plan was perfect. I should have stopped at the planning stage, because from here on out, everything got worse. You see, the biggest mistake I made was trying to be efficient. I figured that this was a great project to make multiples of, since most of the work goes into setting up the drill press, aligning the fence, chucking up the round-over bit etc. It doesn't matter whether you make three or thirty boards, it's just a matter of lather, rinse, and repeat. Imagine all the time I'd save making five sets instead of just one! There is some truth to that, but not all tasks are logarithmic in nature. Many are linear, like drilling holes. Some are even exponential, like doing multiple glue-ups. You end up with so many clamps everywhere you have to tidy up constantly just to maneuver around the assembly table. Finally, there is sanding. Objectively, this is a linear process, but if you ever truly want to experience the theory of relativity, just spend a few days sanding. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why the Festool Domino is the most useless tool ever invented! It makes strong, repeatable joints quickly and accurately, projecting a false sense of productivity and causing many days of lonely, miserable sanding. Roy Underhill doesn't have this problem. He has to chop every mortise by hand, plow every groove with elbow grease, and the only thing that comes close to sanding is burnishing with a handful of wood curls. He knows that savings you get from grooving ten boards instead of just one is irrelevant if you have to joint, plane, rip and crosscut all ten boards first.

02_blanks.jpg

(30 blanks all glued up)​

One thing I quickly realized is that I didn't have enough scrap for 30 trays, so I went to Klingspor for some more maple. After resawing, surfacing and cutting everything to size, my original scrap turned into smaller scrap, and the maple wood I purchased has turned into new scrap. Scrap is eternal. Another problem with scrap is that I ended up having to glue every tray individually, since the pieces were so short. If you start with longer stock, the glue-up becomes a lot simpler. But all this is irrelevant compared to my biggest mistake. A mistake that went completely against the original plan, and violated everything I had ever learned about woodworking: I decided to make stands for these trays. Again, taking inspiration from the setup I'd seen before, I decided it would be really cool if you could show off these trays. Granted, it involved making angled dadoes, but after all that sanding, I was ready for some real woodworking! Fiddling with dado shims, creating a jig, using brass setup bars to measure depth, that's the fun part. I completely forgot I'd have to break the edge of each of these dados with sandpaper, and deal with all these tiny areas of end grain. My fingers were so raw after getting everything sanded to 220 grit that the fingerprint scanner on my phone no longer recognized the pattern. For days I had to type in the access code manually, alternating between feeling like James Bond ("look, no fingerprints, I'm a spy") and an idiot ("insert dumb quote here!").

05_stand.jpg

(simple face frame biscuits for the joinery)


03_stand_sides.jpg

(making the angled dadoes in the sides. the two boards in front are plywood, for testing purposes)

04_jig.jpg

(front view of the jig, not unlike a finger joint jig)​

In the end, it all got done. The project didn't have too many disasters, the shop can be tidied up with just a couple of vacation days next year, and nothing motivates you to experiment with spray lacquer than an approaching deadline. In a few months, I'll start thinking about another Christmas gift, maybe a jewelry box with inlays, hand-cut dovetails, and veneered sides.

08_traysfront.jpg

(three coats of salad bowl finish on the boards, three coats of Deft lacquer on the stands)

09_traysside.jpg



You know, veneering is one of those jobs where doing multiples is so much more efficient....
 

Raymond

Raymond
Staff member
Corporate Member
Great job, Bas! :icon_thum

Just one question - do you know for sure that the recipients wine glass base will fit through the hole? :dontknow:
 

JohnnyR

John
Corporate Member
Unfortunately that diatribe is all too familiar. Since its such a problem I'll take that domino off your hands. I've got plenty of scrap if you'll take it in trade.

Nice job Bas!
 

danmart77

Dan
Corporate Member
Bas
You given me a whole new outlook on my pile of... stuff. Now I don't feel so bad listening to my wife's comments after her brief walk thru my rather mess shop. Fortunately its a detached shop and she has to walk across the yard to get there. Most times she walks thru she's looking for my granddaughter hiding in the shop or upstairs.

g13.JPG



carriage_doors_locking_009.JPG


I like the holders. The boards just look so nice sitting there. I think I can make a couple with this pile of walnut and maple I have sitting there. Don't have any wood from far off lands but I have some hard stuff that will work.
 

Joe Scharle

New User
Joe
Bas, I just love reading your treatises on the folly of woodworking as a hobby, but why didn't you put all of the wine glass holes on the same end of all your boards?

08_traysfront.jpg



:gar-La;
 

jazzflute

Kevin
Corporate Member
Three words my friend:

Wide

Belt

Sander

You're on your own for the dado edges; although with a round over bit....


K

P.S. Have I mentioned that I have about 20,000 sq. ft of veneer or so? (Lest you think I jest; there are readers here who can testify to the veracity of that claim!)

Some of it could be categorized as scrap, if that helps at all...
 

Bas

Recovering tool addict
Bas
Corporate Member
Bas, I just love reading your treatises on the folly of woodworking as a hobby, but why didn't you put all of the wine glass holes on the same end of all your boards?

:gar-La;
Some are for left handed people :wink_smil
(and turn upside down if used in Australia)
 

tri4sale

Daniel
Corporate Member
Glad you caught that, I have a hard time seeing those little details in small photos.

Well, to be honest, I thought the same at first till I enlarged the photo :)

I really do like those, I wonder if small concave might be good on them to keep food from slipping off if tilted slightly. Not that anyone would consume too much wine and have difficulty keeping the plate level...
 

Canuck

Wayne
Corporate Member
Well done Bas.

What's the date again for the open house wine and cheese party?

Wayne
 

Michael Mathews

Michael
Corporate Member
They're beautiful Bas! But I think you could have added a gimbals mechanism to keep the wine glasses upright no matter which side of the earth they are used on!

The stand really make the overall presentation of this project. Wonderful!
 

Graywolf

Board of Directors, President
Richard
Staff member
Corporate Member
Very nice job, would you care for some cheese with all that wine? :rotflm:
 

StephenK

New User
Stephen
Roy has great sanding boards - 80-220 grit glued to particle board. Of course you must use with care and only clean these sanding boards in the trash can on Hillsborough Street otherwise the Roomba might get clogged while vacuuming the floor after dark.
 

Mike Wilkins

Mike
Corporate Member
If I give you my mailing address, will you mail me one of those? Great use of space-robbing scrap to arrive at a really attractive end result.
(And I also have the problem of my phone recognizing my fingerprint after a sanding session-grrrrrr)
 
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