You have a few possible choices... er... alternatives... to resolve your "laziness"
1) If it absolutely has to be done in a "direct drive" configuration and variable speed control is needed at extremely low speeds you can use a powerful DC motor and a PWM (Pulse Width Modulated) speed controller. However, at extremely low RPMs the output of the motor will be a bit "jerky" because it will be powered on/off in brief pulses ... not a problem at higher speeds but it can become noticeable at very low RPMs. It also helps if there is a flywheel of some mass that can help absorb and smooth out the jerkiness at lower RPMs. You often see setups similar to this in some variable speed lathes and many exercise treadmills.
2) Your next option is a motor with a geared step-down gearbox which will allow a much faster (and lower torque) motor to turn the output shaft at much lower speed (and much greater torque). Every halving of the motor's input RPM will also double the output torque -- run it 8 times slower and you'll have 8 times as much torque.
3) More typical of larger woodworking tools is the traditional belt drive and pulley system. By using differential pulley sizes you can increase or decrease output RPMs and inversely decrease or increase the output torque (just like with the gearbox in #2). However, about the slowest induction motor you are likely to find is around 900RPM, though if you look hard enough you may find some 450RPM motors... with 1800RPM and 3600RPM far more common -- so you may need a very large differential in pulley sizes to get your speeds low enough if you require extremely low speeds.
4) You can use a 3-phase inverter-rated induction motor and a VFD that can output very low frequencies to drive the 3-phase motor at variable speed. You'll have to review the specs for both the VFD and the inverter-rated induction motor to determine what the final torque output will be at whatever the lowest target RPM/frequency will be.
5) You can use a combination of #2 and #3 as well by opting for a drive motor with built-in (or bolt-on) reduction gearing (the gearbox) and differential pulley sizes to further reduce the RPMs.
6) You can also choose to use a reduction gearbox on the DC motor in #1 to allow you to run the DC motor at higher RPMs to help avoid the "jerkiness" of the PWM speed controller at extremely low speeds since the gearbox will allow you to run the motor at a higher RPM than the output shaft.
7) By some obese hamsters and mount a squirrel cage for them to run on -- they'll get exercise and you'll get some rotary motion (albeit at low torque, so you may need to raid a pet shop to multiply your torque).
8) Windmills have a nice "retro" tech feel to them that could be perfect for your application.